Dear Aunty Magda,
I’m a widow aged 33. Eight months ago I remarried this charming man four years my junior. He works nightshift as a bouncer in a Nairobi club.
The problem is that whenever he looks at me, he gets an erection. It doesn’t matter where we are, whether we are out shopping or in church, all it takes is for our eyes to meet and there you are.
At first, I was thrilled to have a virile man with whom I could have sex ten to fifteen times a day. But when his excitement showed no signs of waning I realized something could be wrong with him.
I made a tidy sum when I was in sports and also inherited some money from my late husband’s insurance and run my consultancy digitally from home.
We don’t have children in the house and we are virtually living in a pornography set. I’ve raised my concerns lately and he agreed to visit a doctor.
He doesn’t react to other women the same way.
The doctor says he’s normal, that high libido is genetic inheritance and blah-blah-blah.
So I want him to stay but how do I tone him down?
A. C. —Hurlingham, Nairobi
Aunty Magda replies:
Sexual arousal in men varies and as the doctor told you is determined genetically. A normal man should have an erection five to ten times during the day and a minimum of four times during sleep.
When a man erects in his sleep, he is largely unconscious of the fact. That’s how it should be in the daytime, something that comes and goes. Minor discomfiture or irritant that can largely be ignored.
Your man seems to be hyper-sexual. Such a condition is an aberration and not an abnormality.
For now, I’d advise you, to give it to him. If you are thinking about marriage or a permanent arrangement, however, I’ll strictly advise against it. Such men that are extremely good in bed rarely have anything else to offer in a marriage. He may hamper your upward growth in business if you have any ambitions left.
Otherwise, for now, baby, many of us out here envy you: just let it roll!